A Married Mothers Manifesto

Found this today and thought it was worth sharing:

"We are all raised with "do's and don'ts" from the time we can move.  Our rules change as we get older and then we realize that everyone has different ideas about what we should or should not do. I learned early on in my life as a mother and wife that God has far different expectations than we could ever imagine.  So I wrote my own set of "rules" to look back on when I get pulled too far from the road I should be traveling.  Hopefully they speak to you too.  


I will not obsess over the 5, 10, or 15 pounds that show up on the scale and destroy my self-esteem.  
I will lace my shoes up and do something about it.


I will not downplay or minimize a compliment. ("Oh you look great in that dress!"... "Oh, it's just a slimming color.")
I will accept it gratefully and smile and pay it forward with a compliment to someone else that just might need it.  


I will not make excuses for my house being too small, or not decorated, or too lived in.  
I will remember that God can use any house when it is offered for His glory.  


I will not believe that being married means I can stop trying.  
I will give my husband the best of me, and not the leftovers.  


I will not expect my husband to meet my every need. 
I will try to bless him each and every day.  


I will not feel guilty for needing a few moments away from my children. 
I will remember that God's voice is loudest when I am quiet.  


I will not compare myself, my house, my children, or my husband to others. 
I will treat my family as the gift they are. 


I will not continually hope for the next phase of life. 
I will embrace this season.  


I will not spend our money, and incur debt on frivolous things. 
I will store up my treasures in heaven.  


I will not let my children become "those kids" that people dread being around.
I will shepherd my children and teach them how to become responsible, respectful, adults.  


I will not be in such a hurry.
I will smile at strangers. It may be the only one they see that day.


I will not be so busy.
I will spend time just playing with my children. 


I will not be judgmental. 
I will give someone the benefit of the doubt.  


I will not lament over what we don't have. 
I will make our house a home by the attitude and atmosphere I set. 


I will not be a screaming, yelling woman.
I will remember that a gentle tone turns away wrath.  


I will not live a life of regret. 
I will tell those close to me that I love them.  often.  


I will not beat myself up over mistakes.  
I will remember that God's grace is sufficient. 


I will not be anxious.
I will pray.


I will not let anger fill my heart.
I will pray.  

I will not walk in fear of the unknown.

I will pray.

I will laugh at myself.  

I will treasure my "now".  

I will learn to cook healthy meals.  

I will let my children eat cake for dinner sometimes.  

I will say please and thank you. 

I will remember that God made me, and He doesn't make mistakes."


What would you add??

Mom

I posted some pictures from Easter on facebook and a friend from Virginia commented on one.  She said, "I remember when all you wanted was to be a mama.  Now look at you."

The comment nearly brought me to tears.  It's true.  It's all I've ever wanted.  I remember asking my mom for years and years if she would give me a baby brother or sister.  I told her that I would take care of the baby and she wouldn't need to do anything.  (sounds more like I was asking for a puppy huh?) :) I didn't understand that it wasn't "possible" for my mom to have any more babies.  I just knew that I wanted a baby of my own so badly.

I started babysitting at the ripe old age of 9.  Yes, 9.  By 14 I was a full fledged nanny during the summer months.  At 16 I had a little girl I watched so much that she called me "mama." As much as I enjoyed it, I had to teach her to call me something else.  I was the first face she saw in the morning, and the last she saw at night. I witnessed her first steps, and heard her first words.  I loved her like my own but it broke my heart.  I knew her mom was missing out.  It was through that experience that I decided I would do whatever I had to in order to stay home with my kids.  I was blessed to marry someone with the same ideals.

It was only two years after we were married when we had Reagan.  I remember holding her for the first time.  Besides the flood of emotion that comes with any normal delivery, I was also overwhelmed with the realization that I was finally a mom.  I didn't have to give her back.  Even as we were leaving the hospital two days later Brian suggested we stop at Babies R Us to get some preemie stuff and I said "Is it ok to do that?" He responded, "She's ours.  We can do whatever we want." :)

Now, almost 8 years later, I know I'm doing exactly what God wants me to do.  It doesn't make each day easy or filled with rainbows, unicorns or cupcakes with sprinkles.  But even on the days where I feel like locking myself in the closet for some peace and quiet, I cling to the knowledge that our sacrifices are not in vain.  There are plenty of things I'm not, but I know that being a mom was a desire placed by God and fulfilled by Him alone.  And "He who began a good work will be faithful to complete it."

I also know that God placed an incredible example in my life as my own mom.  She amazes me with her quiet strength, her love, selflessness, and sense of humor.  She is a blessing to me and my girls are incredibly lucky to have her as their "yaya." 

(yes, I know we match....and we didn't even plan it)

Thank you mom for being a Christ-like, shining example in my life and in the lives of my girls.  

Happy Mother's Day!

just....

I'm just sitting here and trying to sort out my thoughts.
I'm listening to my precious girls playing restaurant and giggling while they make french fry pizza.  Some days I want to pack everything up and move to a remote location where the world can't influence their innocence.  I don't ever want them to know that there are bad things that happen in the world.  I'm tired of hearing people swear in public.  I'm tired of averting my children's eyes because someone is dressed inappropriately.  I'm annoyed by the people that insist on being negative....all the time.  I can't believe the commercials that play on children's channels.  It almost feels like a losing battle.

At the grocery store two days ago there was a lady in front of me that used to work there.  The cashier asked where she was working now and she said, "I stay home now."  His response was, "Oh, so you're just a mom now?" Just a mom.  Just one of the most important jobs in the world.  Just shaping the future generation of leaders.  Just protecting our children from others.  Just teaching them right from wrong.  Just sharing the love of Christ with them so they can know His grace too.  Just teaching them to pray.  Just trying to balance life with love.  Just shepherding our children's hearts.  Just teaching...by example.  I could go on and on.

The truth is, it can be overwhelming.  I can't put my girls in a bubble.  They will know hurt and sadness.  That's why it's even more important for us to teach them about our eternal hope (and why we obey our parents, and how to speak with kindness, and how to be thankful).

It's not easy, but not impossible.  I'm just sayin.

a little perspective

Let's face it.  Not every day as a mom is sunshine and roses.

My kids make messes.  Lots of them.  They also change their clothes frequently, cover their bathroom with toothpaste, forget to flush, forget to share, ask for snacks all too often....(I'm sure you get the idea).  There are days where it can feel overwhelming and I feel underappreciated.  Not that we do anything for our families out of a desire for appreciation, but sometimes it's nice to hear that our hard work is recognized.

The last few days I was ready to hand out hats to anyone willing to join me at my pity party.  Bailey has discovered how to scream.  Loudly.  Whenever someone (Skylar) tries to take a toy from her hands.  She's also figured out how to whimper like a puppy when she is told 'no.'  It's lovely.  Really.  Skylar has decided that picking up toys is "too hard" so she cries every time she is asked to clean up the playroom (and has almost completely given up naps).  Reagan keeps "forgetting" things.  Like brushing her teeth and putting her shoes away (among other things).

Even though there are times when I feel like crawling under my bed, it's in those moments when God sends a little perspective my way.

A friend of mine posted on facebook this week: "Complaining is literally fuel for the devil's fire."

Then, another friend gave a sermon about complaining and tweeted about "choosing to find the joy in your day."  (This is the same friend that also reminded me of a great quote regarding raising children: "The days are long but the years pass so quickly.")

I got to be part of another friend's journey toward helping a cause close to my heart (literally and figuratively). :D

A relative of mine has been dealing with a chemical addiction and this week she started to break free from it.

The world is bigger than the walls in my house.  And I'm blessed.  So even though today was not all sunshine and roses, and the girls went through nine outfits combined (5 of those were Skylar), I didn't get all the laundry done that I wanted to, nor have I showered, and it basically took a hazmat team to get the girls' bathroom clean, I choose joy.  I choose to focus on the fact that my girls are incredibly healthy and creative (see the "water" slide below).  I choose to find joy in the fact that my almost 7 year old picked out her own bathing suit while shopping today and picked one with Minnie Mouse on it (she's still a little girl, yay!).  I suppose I can also find joy in the fact that she somehow convinced me to buy a second bathing suit for when the "first one is drying or dirty."  Gotta love those bargaining skills.  I found joy in my girls playing together so nicely (until Reagan dumped the watering can full of water on her sister "on accident").  I find joy in their silliness of just being little girls. I found joy in the little things (like my husband bringing me an afternoon cup of coffee).

Today, I chose to thank God for the sunshine.  And the roses.

Probably my new favorite picture of Skylar.  I see this expression multiple times a day!

Roses from our yard

I hope today you found joy.  If not, stay tuned because I'm going to have a giveaway soon and who doesn't love THAT?!

SOS, part deux

Betcha thought I forgot! Technically it's still Saturday for one more hour here.

This morning I was contemplating who I would like to give a Shout Out to this week. There were a few that I could choose from.

First, I thought about giving a shout out to the folks that helped us finish our loan and actually CLOSE on our house yesterday! Let me tell you, it was no small feat. Short of asking for blood samples or our firstborn, the mortgage company had some amazingly ridiculous requests (no offense if you work for a mortgage company). But, our broker and the escrow officer pulled some late hours and focused solely on our file for a few days in order to speed us through the process. Woot Woot! We closed yesterday and have already begun tearing down wallpaper, picking paint, carpet, and reveling in the glory that comes with knowing a small piece of real estate is "ours" (in 30 years).

Second, I thought about giving a shout out (in the most sarcastic of ways) to a fellow mother in Reagan's classroom. This past week, my parents were in Cabo San Lucas on vacation so I had to take all three girls to Reagan's school in the morning. I have to walk her to her classroom and then I read a book with her before leaving. While reading, Bailey and Skylar play with the blocks or books. The other mothers love to see them (as well as the other kids) as I am one of the ONLY moms with a baby. If you know me, you know that I am fairly strong-willed; which means I'm rarely wrong. :) I don't like it when others question the way I do things. So, the following conversation bothered me in ways I can't begin to describe:

Other Mom: Wow, Bailey is walking?! How old is she now?

Me: 14 months. But she started walking at ten months.

Other Mom: 14 months? Don't you feed her? She's so tiny (hahahaha)!

Me: She eats constantly, but since she doesn't stop moving, I think she burns it all.
(not to mention the fact that ALL my children have been small for their age because THEIR MOTHER IS SMALL AS WELL!)

Other Mom: How much milk is she drinking?

Me: I'm still nursing.

Other Mom: OH! Well, my kids always had that healthy fat but it may have been the formula and then real milk.
(REAL milk? As opposed to the FAKE milk that my body produces? And HEALTHY fat? Are you saying my baby isn't HEALTHY?)
Other Mom: Is there really any health benefit to breastfeeding after a year? I heard it only has health benefits for the first six months.

Me: No, I'm pretty sure it continues to provide the necessary nutrition as long as they nurse, as well as the immune system support.

What frustrated me at that point was not having the true medical knowledge to give her. So, after I abruptly ended our conversation by walking away and grabbing my malnourished, overactive toddler, I went home and promptly started researching the health benefits beyond a year.
So, why would she deserve a shout out? Well, because I learned a ton about breastfeeding past the first year of life thanks to her insensitive and ignorant questions. Don't get me wrong; I'm not a 'nurse until they are four' kind of gal. But my baby is far from four. She doesn't even have molars yet. There are a number of organizations and researchers that recommend NOT introducing solids until a baby has their molars. So I'm not a total nutjob....yet. I also learned that even the American Academy of Pediatrics now recommends breastfeeding for a year at MINIMUM. AND, for each month over 12 that a child nurses, you diminish the occurrence of ear infections by approximately 10%. The La Leche League has some good info about nursing past a year too. You can read it too here
Plus, she's my last baby. And I like it. So there. :)

Sidenote: I am not saying that breastfeeding is the ONLY route that folks should take. I completely understand that it's a personal choice and some have a need for formula. I am not judging those folks or saying that their decision is a poor one. I am simply defending my OWN personal choice to breastfeed. :)

But, since you all probably won't be reading this until Sunday, I decided to go with my third option: Moms. That's right. No sarcasm. No research needed here. Just moms. All the moms I know, and all the moms I don't. We have the hardest job on the planet and most days we have folks that will tell us a hundred ways we are doing it wrong. But not on Mothers Day. Today is for us ladies. My Shout Out today is for you. For all the things you do without people knowing. For raising little people that will someday rule the world (or blow it up as it may be). For all the icky sticky messes, the tears, the tantrums, and the whining. For all the times we have been puked on, pooped on, peed on, and drooled on.
For my mom. The best example I could ever ask for. And the most amazing 'Yaya' to my precious blessings. For you girls...the moms in my life that make me laugh, remind me to enjoy each day because they grow so fast, and keep me sane when I reach the end of my rope. May your day be blessed and blissfully quiet. Or at least be filled with 'I Love You's and chaos that makes you smile.