They're chocolate chip cookies.
And they....
were
Delicious!
Tonight is Chili night, and I think some more cookies might be in order....
Friday, January 22, 2010
Comfort Food
Thursday, January 21, 2010
The family jewels
A few weeks ago I blogged about this (establishing some solid rules for our home) and started the search for appropriate rewards/consequences for the different ages of our girls.
The researcher in me went into high gear and finally found an awesome system. I'm so excited to share it!!
Some have referred to it as a "marble jar" system but since we didn't have marbles, we used Princess jewels from Disneyland.
(This works with pennies, marbles, those little clear rocks you put in the bottom of a vase, etc. Anything that makes a 'plink' sound when it goes into a jar).
Our goal (and duty) as parents is to raise well-adjusted, kind-hearted, rule-abiding, God-fearing, children. Not necessarily in that order. There are a number of different ways to achieve those goals, and I believe our jewel system is a great tool. Let me explain how it works:
Each child gets a jar (or a glass bowl as it is in our house) with his/her name on it.
Each Sunday (or whichever day you decide), he/she begins the week with ten jewels. When he/she makes a poor choice or disobeys (or doesn't listen the first time asked, etc), you ask him/her to go get a jewel out of their jar and bring it to you. Likewise, when you see your child doing something you really like or appreciate, he/she is given a jewel and told to go put it in his/her jar. (There's something about the plinking sound that makes them SO delighted too!). On Saturday (or the day before they "start over"), you count up their jewels.
If they have 5 or less, they lose a privilege for an entire day (tv, computer, playtime, dessert, etc...whatever you choose and it may be different for each child). If they have 7 or more, they get to choose from the "treat list" that you create or a "treat box" that you fill with appropriate items. Our list has the following "treats" on it:
1. Playtime at the park
2. A trip to the dollar store
3. Time alone with one parent
4. Frozen yogurt at a self-serve
5. Movie rental
Notice that two of these don't actually cost anything, and the ones that do cost money, cost very little. You create the rewards so you have control over what their "reward" is. It's not meant to be a "thank you for doing what you are supposed to do so let's go to toys r us and buy you an expensive toy" kind of thing. :D
We love this system for a variety of reasons.
First, it eliminates the constant asking. If they do not obey the first time, our girls are told to go get a jewel out of their jar and then they are pretty quick to comply. I don't usually have to raise my voice. I just say "please go get a jewel out of your jar and bring it to me and then do as you were asked please." Much more pleasant than the alternative. It also separates them from a situation if there is bickering. If the girls are fighting, I tell them to each go get a jewel and bring it to me and then go do something different. It just diffuses the situation immediately.
Next, it's adjustable. You can add a time out at any point. "Please go get a jewel and then you need to sit in time out for four minutes." Or, if it's a large offense, you can ask your child to bring you 2 or 3 jewels to really make a point. I have a friend that just implemented the marble jar as well and she takes three automatically for biting, kicking, or hitting.
It's also "individual." Skylar was getting out of her bed at night and going into Reagan's room to sleep. Reagan wanted her to stop, so we told Skylar that she would lose a jewel if she did not stay in her bed. She has not been out of bed since we said that. I have been rewarding her in the morning with a jewel if she does stay in her bed. Obviously it wouldn't make sense to reward Reagan for the same thing because she has no trouble staying in her bed at night. :)
Also, it teaches what is important to us as parents, like sharing, and loving your siblings. Just this week I said "Reagan, I noticed you shared your treat with your sister. I love when you share without being asked so you may go put a jewel in your jar." On the flipside of that, they understand that obedience is important to us also. "You chose not to obey the first time I asked, so you need to go remove a jewel from your jar."
It also teaches delayed gratification. Yes, there is gratification in the "plink" of receiving a jewel, but ultimately their prize only comes once a week. It keeps them guessing too. We don't reward EVERY time my girls obey so they have to keep being good and wait for us to reward their behavior.
It's also helpful while you are out. Just this past week, I asked Skylar to stop climbing on a planter at Reagan's school. When she disobeyed and kept climbing on it, I said, "when we get home, you need to remove a jewel from your jar. If you would like to not lose any more, I suggest you get down now."
It puts pressure where it should be: on the parents. We have to make our expectations known and when they don't meet them, it's up to US as parents to provide the consequence, consistently. It's also up to US as parents to show them what we DO want. If I want my children to speak kindly, I need to speak kindly to others. Being aware of their behavior should make us aware of our own.
For obvious reasons we do not have a marble jar for Bailey yet. I suggest that kids be at a minimum age of 3 for this to work cognitively (and for the choking hazard). I can't wait for Bailey to hit 3!
I know this has been long, but I hope it was worth the read. I just love when something works!
The researcher in me went into high gear and finally found an awesome system. I'm so excited to share it!!
Some have referred to it as a "marble jar" system but since we didn't have marbles, we used Princess jewels from Disneyland.
(This works with pennies, marbles, those little clear rocks you put in the bottom of a vase, etc. Anything that makes a 'plink' sound when it goes into a jar).
Our goal (and duty) as parents is to raise well-adjusted, kind-hearted, rule-abiding, God-fearing, children. Not necessarily in that order. There are a number of different ways to achieve those goals, and I believe our jewel system is a great tool. Let me explain how it works:
Each child gets a jar (or a glass bowl as it is in our house) with his/her name on it.
Each Sunday (or whichever day you decide), he/she begins the week with ten jewels. When he/she makes a poor choice or disobeys (or doesn't listen the first time asked, etc), you ask him/her to go get a jewel out of their jar and bring it to you. Likewise, when you see your child doing something you really like or appreciate, he/she is given a jewel and told to go put it in his/her jar. (There's something about the plinking sound that makes them SO delighted too!). On Saturday (or the day before they "start over"), you count up their jewels.
If they have 5 or less, they lose a privilege for an entire day (tv, computer, playtime, dessert, etc...whatever you choose and it may be different for each child). If they have 7 or more, they get to choose from the "treat list" that you create or a "treat box" that you fill with appropriate items. Our list has the following "treats" on it:
1. Playtime at the park
2. A trip to the dollar store
3. Time alone with one parent
4. Frozen yogurt at a self-serve
5. Movie rental
Notice that two of these don't actually cost anything, and the ones that do cost money, cost very little. You create the rewards so you have control over what their "reward" is. It's not meant to be a "thank you for doing what you are supposed to do so let's go to toys r us and buy you an expensive toy" kind of thing. :D
We love this system for a variety of reasons.
First, it eliminates the constant asking. If they do not obey the first time, our girls are told to go get a jewel out of their jar and then they are pretty quick to comply. I don't usually have to raise my voice. I just say "please go get a jewel out of your jar and bring it to me and then do as you were asked please." Much more pleasant than the alternative. It also separates them from a situation if there is bickering. If the girls are fighting, I tell them to each go get a jewel and bring it to me and then go do something different. It just diffuses the situation immediately.
Next, it's adjustable. You can add a time out at any point. "Please go get a jewel and then you need to sit in time out for four minutes." Or, if it's a large offense, you can ask your child to bring you 2 or 3 jewels to really make a point. I have a friend that just implemented the marble jar as well and she takes three automatically for biting, kicking, or hitting.
It's also "individual." Skylar was getting out of her bed at night and going into Reagan's room to sleep. Reagan wanted her to stop, so we told Skylar that she would lose a jewel if she did not stay in her bed. She has not been out of bed since we said that. I have been rewarding her in the morning with a jewel if she does stay in her bed. Obviously it wouldn't make sense to reward Reagan for the same thing because she has no trouble staying in her bed at night. :)
Also, it teaches what is important to us as parents, like sharing, and loving your siblings. Just this week I said "Reagan, I noticed you shared your treat with your sister. I love when you share without being asked so you may go put a jewel in your jar." On the flipside of that, they understand that obedience is important to us also. "You chose not to obey the first time I asked, so you need to go remove a jewel from your jar."
It also teaches delayed gratification. Yes, there is gratification in the "plink" of receiving a jewel, but ultimately their prize only comes once a week. It keeps them guessing too. We don't reward EVERY time my girls obey so they have to keep being good and wait for us to reward their behavior.
It's also helpful while you are out. Just this past week, I asked Skylar to stop climbing on a planter at Reagan's school. When she disobeyed and kept climbing on it, I said, "when we get home, you need to remove a jewel from your jar. If you would like to not lose any more, I suggest you get down now."
It puts pressure where it should be: on the parents. We have to make our expectations known and when they don't meet them, it's up to US as parents to provide the consequence, consistently. It's also up to US as parents to show them what we DO want. If I want my children to speak kindly, I need to speak kindly to others. Being aware of their behavior should make us aware of our own.
For obvious reasons we do not have a marble jar for Bailey yet. I suggest that kids be at a minimum age of 3 for this to work cognitively (and for the choking hazard). I can't wait for Bailey to hit 3!
I know this has been long, but I hope it was worth the read. I just love when something works!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Take a hike!
A couple weekends back, we took advantage of the gorgeous January weather (and the plateau behind our house) to take the kids for a short hike. The views were stunning (I love the snow covered mountains in the distance), and the kids had a great time.
I was on "alert" the whole time because at the entrance to the trail there's a sign that says, "Mountain Lion sighted. Be cautious with children and pets!" Um, ok. Anyone know what you're supposed to do if you see a mountain lion??
Thankfully we did NOT see any mountain lions (phew!). About halfway through, I stepped in some old muddy tire tracks and twisted my ankle and knee. It wasn't bad, but it made the hills a bit more challenging. Reagan, Bailey and I went as far as we could, and Brian took Skylar a little farther up.
We loved getting out and enjoying the day (and the kids slept great that night!).
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Bombarded (and confused)
I took a Critical Thinking course in college. I know advertisers try to "sell" you on their products. I'm not easily swayed by fancy packaging (it usually costs more anyway). There is information all over the web that is contradictory. I am a big fan of snopes when it comes to email forwards. My husband and I have even talked about "research studies" and how organizations pay to get the results they want.
Who can you trust?
My latest dilemma is diet. I just want to make healthy meals for my family. I cook dinner at home almost every night. I'm a big fan of fresh organic produce and include it almost every meal I make (Of course there are studies that show that the word "organic" does not mean the same thing on every label, but that's a whole other post). I've tried to prepare fresher, less processed foods.
A lot of our meals include a carb though. Not just any carbs....pasta, breads, and grains. All of which include gluten. The information on whether or not this is healthy is SO varied. They are low fat/low calorie foods, but they are also known to convert to sugars and adversely affect blood sugar levels (as well as disrupt the digestive process). Other folks will tell you that it's not a "balanced" diet without carbs/gluten.
I don't have a child with autism or ADHD (both of which recommend a gluten-free diet), but Brian has high cholesterol. Part of cholesterol is the triglyceride level (sugar level) that is affected by carbs. I would love for him to be off of his statin but his favorite foods all include carbs (most Italian foods).
Anyone have carb alternatives that your family actually enjoys?
Have you ever tried to eliminate gluten from your diet and see the benefits?
Who can you trust?
My latest dilemma is diet. I just want to make healthy meals for my family. I cook dinner at home almost every night. I'm a big fan of fresh organic produce and include it almost every meal I make (Of course there are studies that show that the word "organic" does not mean the same thing on every label, but that's a whole other post). I've tried to prepare fresher, less processed foods.
A lot of our meals include a carb though. Not just any carbs....pasta, breads, and grains. All of which include gluten. The information on whether or not this is healthy is SO varied. They are low fat/low calorie foods, but they are also known to convert to sugars and adversely affect blood sugar levels (as well as disrupt the digestive process). Other folks will tell you that it's not a "balanced" diet without carbs/gluten.
I don't have a child with autism or ADHD (both of which recommend a gluten-free diet), but Brian has high cholesterol. Part of cholesterol is the triglyceride level (sugar level) that is affected by carbs. I would love for him to be off of his statin but his favorite foods all include carbs (most Italian foods).
Anyone have carb alternatives that your family actually enjoys?
Have you ever tried to eliminate gluten from your diet and see the benefits?
Monday, January 11, 2010
I heart this face
This weeks photo challenge at Iheartfaces is to post your favorite "face" photo from December or January. This one is Bailey on Christmas morning. She was so wide-eyed when she saw all the gifts!
Go to iheartfaces and check out the "favorite faces" of other folks!
Go to iheartfaces and check out the "favorite faces" of other folks!
The ground rules
I think we have pretty good kids. Most days they are sweet to one another, use their manners, and obey when asked to do something. But they're kids, and they're not perfect. We've noticed as Reagan gets older she is starting to assert herself more. She "bargains" when asked to do something; she corrects anyone that she thinks is wrong; she can get very bossy with her sisters. We were talking yesterday about how to help correct this behavior now before it gets out of hand. As the parents, we know this responsibility falls squarely on our shoulders. I don't want to make the mistake of assuming she will grow out of it either. It's easier to deal with a six year old's defiance than it is a ten year old that has been getting away with it for years.
I read a great blog from miss Amy about a family binder. I have my own system of chores, budget, organizing list, but since we only have one child able to read we will probably wait on putting the rules in it a little longer ( I think it's a FANTASTIC idea!). But it got me thinking. We need to establish a few ground rules for the house. If the girls know the rules, they know when they are breaking them. In like fashion, we also need to establish consequences if the rules are broken. We are not going to go overboard with rules (it's hard for a 3 year old to remember 15 rules!). So far I've come up with three. We will start with those. The one I'm most excited about is the rule to obey the first time you are asked to do something. Lately I've been having to ask the girls (well mostly the older two) to do something repeatedly. I ask nicely the first time. The second time I get a little frustrated. The third time I am downright irritated! But it's after that third time that they finally comply because they know I mean business. Now, there will be a consequence after the first request is ignored.
We just need to come up with age-appropriate consequences now. Any suggestions?
I read a great blog from miss Amy about a family binder. I have my own system of chores, budget, organizing list, but since we only have one child able to read we will probably wait on putting the rules in it a little longer ( I think it's a FANTASTIC idea!). But it got me thinking. We need to establish a few ground rules for the house. If the girls know the rules, they know when they are breaking them. In like fashion, we also need to establish consequences if the rules are broken. We are not going to go overboard with rules (it's hard for a 3 year old to remember 15 rules!). So far I've come up with three. We will start with those. The one I'm most excited about is the rule to obey the first time you are asked to do something. Lately I've been having to ask the girls (well mostly the older two) to do something repeatedly. I ask nicely the first time. The second time I get a little frustrated. The third time I am downright irritated! But it's after that third time that they finally comply because they know I mean business. Now, there will be a consequence after the first request is ignored.
We just need to come up with age-appropriate consequences now. Any suggestions?
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Coming out of the "fridge"
I admit it. I'm addicted. Hopelessly addicted. To what?
This.
This.
I've tried to go without but it's just not the same. I end up not drinking as much coffee so I get a headache and drag through the afternoon. It's a terrible ripple effect. I know, I know...I should probably cut out coffee altogether, but that ain't gonna happen anytime soon. Last year I was able to find it after Christmas and just "stocked up." I bought enough to get me through March and then went through withdrawals until October when stores started carrying it again. Why does it have to be so seasonal? (on a related note, why is Peppermint ice cream a seasonal thing too!?)
I looked in eight different stores for this creamer before I finally contacted the company (sad, I know). They informed me that it is no longer just a seasonal item!!! Can you believe it? You can get this year-round now! The lovely customer service rep I spoke with said, "You just need to find a store that will order it for you." THREE stores later, I found a lovely manager at Albertsons that said "Sure, I'll order a case for you." WOOHOO!
I am a very happy girl. And now an Albertsons shopper for life.
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