Wednesday, November 23, 2011

New Balance

No, not the running shoes.  Although admittedly, I have not run in far too long.  I guess that goes hand in hand with what this post is about.

I've discovered the most challenging part of being a wife and mother is finding balance.  Most days it's a struggle to keep just one of the areas of my life in balance.  It's a constant readjusting.  I started to feel like I was failing more than I was succeeding.

Keep a clean house, but spend time with your children.

Make healthy meals, but make them taste good.

Don't dress like you just got out of bed, but don't dress to make other men stumble.

Spend time teaching your children, but let them be kids too.

Budget wisely, but splurge on the important stuff.

Protect your kids, but let them make mistakes.

Exercise, but take time to rest.

Be stern, but be gentle.

Love others, but don't let them take advantage of you.

Have great friends, but spend time alone too.

Be helpful, but don't get overextended.

Be confident in who you are, but be willing to change.

Accept that the Lord is God and He died for you, but....hmmm.  I'm glad there's no "but" to salvation.  That's all that really matters.  Life's pressures are mostly imposed by ourselves or others, not God.  Does he want me to be a good wife and a good mother? Of course He does.  He desires the best for me and my family.  Does he care that I haven't cleaned behind the fridge in two years? Probably not.

Now that Brian's mom has passed, I am replaying our conversations, and cherishing them even more.  When they came to visit this past January I told her that I didn't have a chance to clean as much as I wanted.  She just smiled and said, " can have a clean house or you can spend time with your kids.  You can't have both.  Each day is a choice.  Some days you will choose to clean.  Some days you will sit on the floor and play with Barbies.  As a grandmother, I am glad that your house isn't spotless because it means you're spending time with my granddaughters."  She went on to tell me that there will come a time when your house stays too clean and you miss the mess.  Then she said the kids move back in, along with the grandkids and you miss the clean.  "It all evens out eventually."

Today, I'm striving for a new balance; one that doesn't leave me feeling guilty at the end; a balance that reminds me not to take things too seriously because, "It all evens out eventually."


  1. You're not alone. I think of that kind of stuff all the time! I've been reading the 5 Love Languages for kids and that has really kept it on the front burning.

  2. I haven't been in the blog world lately, but I'm so glad I stopped by tonight and saw this post - so perfect for every mom to read! I'm so sorry about Brian's mom's passing, sounds like she was a wonderful and WISE woman! Have a terrific Thanksgiving!

  3. It is so refreshing to know that I'm not alone in these daily struggles. Just yesterday my girls and I had a LONG conversation about dressing conservatively. Why we don't allow certain clothing, and how we really don't want to gain attention for the wrong things. The only one I don't raelly struggle with? Exercise. Because I just don't do it. Yet! I'll be struggling with that soon, I'm sure ;)

    Happy Thanksgiving!!!

  4. Those are good wise words! I remember at our first pediatrician appointment with Elianna she told us to not worry about the little things and the house but to focus on our new baby. I kind of forgot about it--but those words really stuck with Roger and he will bring them up every once in a while. It's not about the "american dream" but it's about our lives and their impact mattering in eternity.

  5. Blessed post! Now if only we could truly apply this logic to our lives. I am praying I will be able to....someday! Before I know it, life will pass me by and all I will have to say for it is...she saw parts of the world most don't. Not sure that's what I want on my tombstone. Thanks for the reminder!


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