Tuesday, November 17, 2009

I'm not perfect

I know. Shocking. But it's true.

There's a song by Laurie Berkner (who just happens to also be my favorite children's musician), that has a pretty catchy tune. It goes something like this:

I'm not perfect
no I'm not
I'm not perfect but I've got what I've got
I do my very best, do my very best, do my very best each day
but I'm not perfect, and I hope you like me that way.

You're not perfect,
no you're not.
You're not perfect, but you've got what you've got.
You do your very best, do your very best, do your very best each day.
But you're not perfect, and you know I love you that way.

(Or you can click here to hear it yourself)


How nice that children can learn at such an early age that no one is perfect. Nothing is perfect. I've been trying to change my use of the words "that's perfect" around the girls as well.  I realized I was saying it too much when I started hearing THEM say it.  Reagan likes things "just so" and can often be heard telling Skylar that she's not doing something right because it's not perfect.  I'm now trying to teach them that NO ONE is perfect.  Well, except for ONE person, but we'll get back to that.

I've struggled for years with perfection. Even as a child, I wanted things "just so." Now, one of my favorite songs that plays on my playlist is Francesca Battistelli's "Free to be Me." My favorite line is when she says, "Perfection is my enemy." Isn't that the truth?! Perfection IS my enemy. I will never achieve it, so it becomes a vice that destroys me.

When we moved into this house I wanted things "just so" but when my mom had her brain aneurysm and subsequent surgery, my plans took a back seat. So the house wasn't finished when we moved in. I tried to quickly get things in order but it felt like each step I took, I had to take two more backwards. I painted the cabinets. Then the paint peeled. So I painted them again. After sanding and priming again of course. We had a leak in our drain pipe in the garage. So after getting it repaired it took our home warranty company over a month to get someone to come out and seal up the drywall where they had cut into the wall to get to the pipe. Of course in that time, our little mice friends had moved in. So then we had to get rid of those icky creatures. It seems like projects get started but not finished. My bathroom still has wallpaper that I hate (and lots of spots where I got sloppy with the paint). My pantry has new contact paper in it, but it has bubbles in it. And only half of the cabinets have been contact papered at that. My sink has dried paint in it. I haven't cleaned a single window. The girls don't have curtains or pictures on their walls.  My dust ruffle on my bed is torn and 6 inches too short.  I could go on and on.

I found that when people were coming over, I was making excuses about why my house looked the way it did...unfinished. "It's still a work in progress" I would say.

Aren't we all?

I like to do lots of things, but I don't think I'm terribly great at any of them.  Far from an expert, and certainly not perfect.  I was beginning to start each day, feeling defeated.  I would exercise and eat right, but the scale wouldn't move.  I would pick up and pick up and pick up but the house would still look like 3 little girls live here.  I would attempt a new recipe only to have my girls make icky faces and I would end up making quesadillas for everyone.

Then I was driving and a song came on the radio that released me from my drive to perfection (probably not once and for all, but at least for now). I've loaded it to my playlist but wanted to give you the words also.

Natalie Grant-Perfect People

Never let Him see you when you're breaking
Never let Him see you when you fall
That's how we live
and that's how we try

Tell the world you've got it all together
And never let them see what's underneath
You cover it up, with a crooked smile
but it only lasts
for a little while

There's no such thing as perfect people
There's no such thing as a perfect life
So come as you are
Broken and scarred
Lift up your heart
and be amazed, be changed
by a Perfect God.

Suddenly it's like a weight is lifted
When you hear the words that you are loved
He knows where you are, and He knows where you've been
and you never have to go there again.


There's no such thing as perfect people
There's no such thing as a perfect life
So come as you are
Broken and scarred
Lift up your heart
and be amazed, be changed
by a Perfect God.

Who lived and died to give you life
to heal our imperfections
so look up
and see love
and let grace be enough


There's no such thing as perfect people
There's no such thing as a perfect life
So come as you are
Broken and scarred
Lift up your heart
and be amazed, be changed
by a Perfect God.

Thank goodness I'm not expected to be perfect.  I'm so thankful for a husband that knows my imperfections and loves me in spite of them; children that know I'm not perfect, but still love me "to the moon and back"; and a God that created me to be imperfect so that I could find perfect peace in His grace and a promise of a perfect eternity in heaven.

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